Superheroes In A Cafe: The Flash and Bruce Banner

Cafe and The Flash

I dig superheroes, but I’m curious what it would be like to catch them in the day-to-day, just conversing with one another in a mundane setting. Hence this blog series.

TODAY: The Flash and Bruce Banner!

INT. CENTRAL CITY CAFE – DAY

A metropolitan cafe, with frustratingly vogue decor. The bar is a fish tank, and all the chairs look like they’re missing the necessary structure to support a body.

Various paintings texture the walls, some skirting that fine line between vulgar and artsy. The focal point in all these paintings is a giant portrait of THE FLASH, who is blessed with an overabundance of muscle and package.

BRUCE BANNER enters the cafe and rubs a hand over his unshaven face. Jeez. Easily the oldest person in this place by 15-20 years.

There’s a SNOOTY BARISTA manning the translucent bar, looking every bit of Sid Vicious. Bruce walks up to him.

BRUCE

Say, I’m meeting someone here--

SNOOTY BARISTA

(not paying attention)

Flash?

BRUCE

Um, yes.

SNOOTY BARISTA

Sit where ya want, gramps. He’ll be around.

Bruce nods and scopes out the place once more. If there’s a place to sit here, it’s not immediately apparent.

The Snooty Barista reaches across the bar and taps Bruce on the shoulder.

SNOOTY BARISTA

(pointing)

Yo! Table. Near the wall.

BRUCE

Are you sure?

He walks over to the place that the Barista pointed out and takes a seat..on a hand. That’s right. It’s a chair made to look like an opened hand.

The table itself is made to look like two hands splayed out in a begging position. Bruce places his hands on it and smirks.

BRUCE

(to himself)

This is the dumbest thing...

A RAINBOW BARISTA hops over to his table, bumping into it when she lands. She’s decked head-to-toe like she’s entering the Rainbow Bright Cosplay Competition 2013.

RAINBOW BARISTA

Whatcha want, gramps!

BRUCE

Do you guys have normal coffee?

RAINBOW BARISTA

Organic or Blegh?

BRUCE

Um, Blegh is fine.

RAINBOW BARISTA

Haha, you’re a cute old man! I’ll get it for ya right away!

She hops all the way back to the bar.

Bruce clenches and unclenches his fists.

WHAM!

The Flash appears across from Bruce. Pretty much what you would expect, except less muscle definition than advertised. He speaks rapid-fire like he was auditioning for His Girl Friday.

THE FLASH

So, you’re the green-meanie everyone’s talking about! Mister large-and-in-charge! The Jolly Green Giant! The-

Bruce assumes a pose like he’s being held at gunpoint.

BRUCE

Yes. Yes. Him.

THE FLASH

Nice to finally meet ya, sir! How have you been enjoying your stay in Central City? Wait! Don’t answer. I’m sure you’ve been having a blast. The people here are super friendly, and there’s a lot to do around here! Ohdidyouhavetroublewiththevalet?

Bruce strains to hear that last sentence.

BRUCE

Um..what?

THE FLASH

Did you have trouble with the valet?

BRUCE

What?

THE FLASH

(miming and enunciating, slowly)

Did you have trouble with the valet?

BRUCE

No. I jumped.

A moment of silence.

The Flash tilts his head.

THE FLASH

From Avengers HQ?

BRUCE

Uh, Stark Tower, actually. I thought I would give my scooter a--

THE FLASH

Hold that thought!

He disappears for only a split-second before returning with their beverages: a hot coffee for Bruce, and a cappuccino for The Flash. The coffee spills just a little and Bruce wrinkles his nose at the slight.

THE FLASH

There ya go! Continue.

As Bruce speaks, The Flash can’t keep focused. The words dribble out WAY too slow.

BRUCE

(labored)

Um. Well, that was it, really. I mean, my scooter was having some engine troubles and I didn’t want to strain it too much. Tony has offered to soup it up with some of his tech, but Danielle is my scooter from college. Um, before...it, um, before--

THE FLASH

OKAY, WE GET IT!

The outburst startles Bruce and he clenches his hands.

THE FLASH

Sorry gramps. I’m not used to such a lengthy – ahem – conversation.

BRUCE

That’s okay. Uh, I just need a moment to--

RAINBOW BARISTA

HEYA FELLAS--WHOA--

The Rainbow Barista leaps at the two heroes once again, but biffs the landing and knocks the table into Bruce. Obviously, the hot coffee spills everywhere.

CUT TO:

EXT. CENTRAL CITY CAFE – DAY

Take a second to appreciate the genius of a cafe with an all glass exterior.

KA-THOOM!

The hand table and chairs are the first to burst out of the cafe, followed by the Rainbow Barista.

The Flash catches her right before she hits the street. All traffic stops. He sets her down.

THE HULK emerges.

He roars at everyone and starts running. Before he gets too far into traffic, he takes a leap and is gone from view in seconds.

THE FLASH

Soothing environment. Huh. THAT’S what Batman meant.

FADE OUT:

Superheroes In A Cafe is formatted using SCRIPPETS which utilizes FOUNTAIN, a plain text markup language for screenwriting. Batman would be amused.

  • This one is quite vivid, though I admit a few of the references were outside my familiarity – but that’s my deficiency, not your screenplay’s. I had a very clear sense of The Flash as having ADHD.

    One thing that I really liked about this one is that you didn’t spell out in directions how Bruce Banner reacts to anything. The obnoxiousness of the setting, the barista and The Flash are all so clear that it’s easy to project onto Banner our own mounting irritation. If I were performing from this, I’d have no trouble discerning Banner’s state of mind and emotional range. Very well done.

    The only thing that jumped out at me was that the barista and The Flash both called Banner “gramps”. Was that a deliberate callback? Reading it, I found the repetition jarring but I could also see how watching the scene play out with The Flash using the term would escalate Banner’s irritation.

    • I wanted the “gramps” and “old man” to be a Central City thing, and perhaps could have established that a little bit more or something. All I know is that “gramps” irritates me and I figured it would be great to have a superhero utilize such an annoying nickname for Bruce. :P

      As for references, they’re kinda dubious. Avengers HQ sounds good and even if one doesn’t exist it would be a logical leap for The Flash. And I’m not sure Bruce would even be able to respond fast enough to explain one did or didn’t exist. I pulled Stark Tower from the Avengers movie, so it may not be in the strictest cannon. But it’s a sweet tower and I plan to use it. Unless those things weren’t what you were referring to..