Superheroes In A Cafe: Wonder Woman and Hawkeye

Wonder Woman

I dig superheroes, but I’m curious what it would be like to catch them in the day-to-day, just conversing with one another in a mundane setting. Hence this blog series.

TODAY: Wonder Woman and Hawkeye!

INT. CAFE COBBLEPOT – DAY

A surprisingly upscale and trendy cafe in a rough neighborhood of Gotham City. Lots of flannel, horn-rimmed glasses, and patchwork beards. Outside we see a HOMELESS MAN who could be mistaken for dead if not for the occasional twitch.

WONDER WOMAN grabs her abnormally sized cup of java from the BARISTA and heads over to a quaint table near the window looking directly at the Homeless Man. Sitting across from her is HAWKEYE, with a bigger cup of joe. A pile of used cigarettes spill out of an ashtray near him.

WONDER WOMAN

I see you were waiting awhile. I do apologize for being late. I encountered a Hydra on my way here and had to dispatch him before he did too much damage.

HAWKEYE

You’re a lot taller than I imagined, and a lot--

Hawkeye scratches the back of his head and then does a generic gesture around his chest.

HAWKEYE

--bigger.

WONDER WOMAN

Are you always this untoward when out in public?

HAWKEYE

Not invited to many places, if that’s what you mean.

WONDER WOMAN

I should say not. Most women do not consider their chests to be a good conversation starter.

They share in an awkward silence. Hawkeye takes a swig of his coffee.

WONDER WOMAN

So you are a part of The Avenger’s Initiative?

HAWKEYE

Yep.

WONDER WOMAN

Do you guys see a lot of action?

HAWKEYE

Nope.

WONDER WOMAN

That is strange. We have been dealing with quite a bit lately over at the Justice League. Seems like we are stretched pretty thin these days.

HAWKEYE

Yep.

WONDER WOMAN

You are not very talkative, are you?

Hawkeye grunts.

HAWKEYE

Not much for shop talk, if you catch my drift.

WONDER WOMAN

Shopping? What does that have to do--?

HAWKEYE

Work. I don’t like to talk about work. That would be Stark. I like other stuff.

WONDER WOMAN

I see.

The briefest of pauses.

WONDER WOMAN

Do you copulate often?

HAWKEYE

Okay.

He pulls out a couple dollars and tosses them on the table before leaving the cafe. We stay at the table with Wonder Woman, but can see Hawkeye toss a coin at the Homeless Man before lighting a cig and walking away.

Wonder Woman doesn’t notice. Instead she smells her drink and wrinkles her nose. She takes a sip and sets the cup down.

WONDER WOMAN

That was probably too direct.

FADE OUT:

Superheroes In A Cafe is formatted using SCRIPPETS which utilizes FOUNTAIN, a plain text markup language for screenwriting. Batman would be amused.