Dave And Killer And The Surprise Attack

Dave And Killer And Sneak Attack

I often find myself wondering what my cats are up to when I’m out and about. Do they talk about meaningful things or do they just sleep all day? This (semi) regular post series attempts to shed some light on what goes down when no one is around. I expect there will be more of these as time goes on.

Today we deal with the pros and cons of surprise attacks!

INT. JON’S APARTMENT – DAY

KILLER sits in the middle of the living room, grooming himself. He’s thorough, unlike a certain “other” cat.

SUDDENLY, DAVE LEAPS INTO THE LIVING ROOM.

He changes his mind and returns to the hallway. A split second later he peeks his head back out to stare at Killer.

Killer continues to groom himself, unaware of Dave’s presence.

DAVE

(whispers)

Score!

Dave goes into HUNTER MODE. We cut to...

POV DAVE. Essentially Predator-vision.

We cut back and forth between Dave’s Hunter Mode and Killer grooming himself.

Dave gets closer. Killer grooms.

Dave gets even closer. Killer Grooms.

Dave gets super close.

Killer is suddenly alert and looks up at the ceiling. In a panic, Dave scurries back to his perch behind the corner, claws scraping the fine wooden floor (there goes the deposit).

KILLER

Huh.

He goes back to grooming himself.

A beat and Dave resumes his attempt at a sneak attack.

We cut to a wide shot as Dave advances on Killer. He gets right behind killer and prepares to pounce.

SUDDENLY, HE BARFS.

Killer looks back at Dave.

KILLER

Oh, hai.

He trots off.

Dave looks down at his vomit. A moment passes and he sniffs it.

FADE OUT:

Dave And Killer is formatted using SCRIPPETS which utilizes FOUNTAIN, a plain text markup language for screenwriting. In short, it’s pretty dope.

  • I laughed, I cried. Boffo!

    • That’s all I could ever hope for: a response! :)

  • “Dave and Killer” is one of my favorite things on the Interwebs. I love screenplays and I live with four cats, so this sub-series of yours is the perfect convergence of those two things.

    • Thanks! I’ve been wanting to use this wordpress plugin for awhile and hadn’t really figured out how until starting this series. I may actually do more series to just flex the screenwriting skills and write up some fun “what-ifs.” I find these posts are more fun for me than some of the other types of posts I’ve done here. But that’s me being my screenwriter self.